An Island Where No One Lives

Resolutions: the usual–drink less, spend less, weigh less, write more, paint more, record more. I actually put down a rhythm machine track the other day for a project, and I finished my holiday robot story. So I’m on the way!

Next: I have two predictions about 2006.

The first is that spam will go into a new frontier: On-Line Games. You’ll save some guy from a monster, and he’ll say, “Whew, thanks! I can never repay you for saving my life! Well, actually, I can repay you—if you’re looking for a low-rate home mortgage! You know, times are very good for interest rates…” blah blah blah. You’ll be able to kill the guy, more than likely, but there will be more of them.

Spam has invaded just about every aspect of online culture, from e-mail, chat-rooms, boards, comment systems…I’ve heard it’s also invading instant messaging systems and cell phones. On-line games will be the next target. You read it here first.

In fact, how about a game, a first-person shooter like Doom, where you kill spam people? I’d buy one. I might even get good at it (I’m not good at games. My XBox laughs at me).

My second prediction is that Hollywood’s fortunes will continue to decline in the year 2006. Hollywood’s obsession with “message” films has finally reached melt-down, to the point where dreck like Star Wars is presented as being ALL about the war in Iraq. It can’t be JUST silly entertainment and special effects, no, Big George Lucas has a message for all us commoners.

Which would not be so bad if Hollywood understood that a message film has to be more than a harangue. Some message films can be profound and thoughtful, generating many insights. That’s not how Hollywood thinks it should be done, though. The tone of the “message films” I see playing seems to be, “You are too stupid to think the proper thoughts, here are some movies that will educate you so you’ll know which opinions we value. If you don’t think as we do, you’re worthless and weak.”

I’m not saying “message films” should be discarded, far from it. But play on a level field. Acknowledge that the people who disagree with you come by their opinions just as honestly as you do yours.

Yeah right. I can just see that. (That was sarcasm.) Ironically, for folks who pride themselves on intelligence (like Hollywood) they certainly seem just as shallow and thinly-motivated as the characters they put on screen. Just look at the magazines in the check out aisle if you doubt that.

The real pity is that a lot of smart-storytelling goes by the wayside in order to get the “greater point” out. Remember the first Terminator film? There was a wonderful feminist story that came by its themes honestly, by working them out in the context of the story. Something that was totally dumbed up in the sequel (which was more successful, so guess I can be ignored. I’m used to it).

Well, enough of that. Tomorrow: My 2005 at the movies, and whazzup for 2006.